The Coleman Institute Blog

When I was eating lunch recently with my friend Ellie, who volunteers at the Richmond jail teaching meditation and yoga, she mentioned a quote by Dr. Parker Palmer, an educator and activist. He says, "The human soul doesn't want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed - to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is."

A podcast I often recommend to patients is The Bubble Hour (www.thebubblehour.com). On a recent episode the discussion was about relapse. Two women in long -term recovery discuss what it's like for them when friends relapse. One of them quoted Anne Lamott, who says, "Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining."

On Sunday morning Dr. Coleman and I were returning from a weekend in Boston. We were rolling our bags through the airport when a young man came up to us and excitedly said, "Um, excuse me. . . don't mean to interrupt you. . . but, do you remember me?'

I've been a nurse practitioner for about 16 years, almost nine of those at The Coleman Institute. When I interviewed with Dr. Coleman, I understood he needed a family nurse practitioner.

It was a nice setting--close enough that I could walk or bike if I chose--and he seemed like a cool, laid-back Kiwi and a reasonable boss. I was strongly considering the position when he informed me that he actually ran two businesses under one roof: in addition to the family practice he also had a substance abuse program where he did outpatient rapid opiate detoxes.

What would you have to give up if you stopped blaming yourself?

I heard this question asked during a podcast by Tara Brach, who teaches topics on meditation. She was making the point that so often the voice that appears and reappears in our head has the tone of Aversive Judgment. This voice is not like the Wise Discrimination voice that cleanly processes problems to arrive at solutions; this is the voice that is telling - if not shouting - the story of What's Wrong With Me.